i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
