I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
