On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize