She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
