I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
