i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
