whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
