I'm going to jail i love you
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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