wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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