FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
