3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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