omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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