dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Barsexuality is the new black.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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