Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
