It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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