i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
