my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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