I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
