The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
