Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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