i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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