my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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