respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
