She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
