It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The air was thick with penises
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize