oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
