Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
