I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
