got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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