Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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