I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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