If i come over, it means nothing
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
