im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize