:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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