dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
