there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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