I heard we made out
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
