Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
