If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
