can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
