If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize