I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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