You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
