I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
