So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
