You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize