so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
