Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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