what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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