dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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