Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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