i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
now i know why i became what i already was.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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