I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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