So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
