How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
