Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
