doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
