P.S. I can't hear my feet
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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