Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
