The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize