im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
